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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Candi18/Female/United States Recent Activity
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  • Listening to: sexting ~ blood on the dance floor
I'm going to say it even tho the tears aren't flowing anymore I just can't stop sobbing and trying to cry, my eyes hurt. I can't wear my glasses because its no use if I can't really see out of them anyways. I'm exhausted my body is on the brink of just wanting to shut down and do nothing but sleep and be a very sad and mopey person and yet I still want to push forward. I just *sighs*

Nightmares are my enemy... There I said it. I have horribly painstakingly vivid nightmares.. They always make me fear going to sleep just like I'm afraid of the dark... These nightmares show me beside my loved friends (even if I don't know what you'd look like or what your real name would be I just have this image of you stuck in my head) and family dying and I can't do anything about it.. I've not been able to sleep properly since I was a child  and these sickeningly gruesome vivid things happen that I just get worried and stressed afraid of falling asleep because I would see someone else gruesomely die...

I mean I do have nights where I don't dream but I still wake up in a cold sweat on the edge of breaking down into tears and screaming hell I've left the security of my home because of sleeping walking to get away from what scared me in my nightmares....


I feel like everything is just haunting me letting me know that death is inevitable but I don't want that hell of nightmares.

I can handle gore when I know its fake like in a haunted house or in a horror film and I know nightmares aren't real but I was scared because I could feel all the small details hear the desperate whispers of them wanting help the feel of everything in the scenery just everything is too real I don't even want to know what a good dream would be like even tho it probably would be better than that of a nightmare

But I do know that at some point it needs to be stopped so I'm teaching my self lucid dreaming...

I need to control my dream and what happens in it. I need to have better sleep than what I am having..

But back to other news I'm happy its almost time for graduation less than two months now and I'll be in a chalk competition this coming April! I'll be drawing up a 8x8 foot piece by myself on a crossover of doctor who supernatural the librarians and five nights at Freddy's

I'm really excited to do that I've begun the process of redesigning my bedroom to be more of a studio for my art and jewelry making I'm even going to try making stain glass sun catchers! I've been working on a few needle point projects practicing singing a few songs cooking some new things that I've never tried before reading more books and designing game concept art

I've been in my art niche for awhile but I've finally realized the full life ahead of me that will have a big ball of wibbly wobbly things going on

I am trying to enjoy what little time left I have at home and my aunt found me a part time job at a screen print shop and also possibly at the public library.

Going to be going to church camp for three weeks at the beginning of summer hopefully and making YouTube videos also

So. Yeah my little slice of life at the moment

Stay sweet y'all

Candi :heart:
  • Mood: Peaceful
  • Listening to: a dream is a wish your heart makes ~ cinderella
Well I just had a very long talk with my aunt about my parents and my life and everything and I think I've bonded with my aunt more..


I think I'm finally able to mourn about my great grandmother and my great aunt without being told I'm crazy or feeling insecure about having a moment of weakness..

I've come to peace that my mother and father are a lost cause when trying to let them see the light and make peace with them..

Me and my aunt are very much a like and she told me to not let my family stop me from doing what I want and yes you guys have told me the same too and I love you guys for helping me as much as she helped me but it just how she said it made everything you all have said click.

As auntie Mame would say, live! Live! Live! Most poor sons of bitches don't know what to do with it!

Love you all my sweets

Stay sweet y'all

Candi :heart:
  • Mood: Regretful
  • Listening to: you give love a bad name ~ bon jovi
The underclassman walked me to my car and confessed to me and I didn't know what to say besides "idk I just want us to be friends" and instead of him going ok he said "well give me an answer in a week" and walked off

What the hell am I supposed to do >~< I don't want to date him he's a good friend and I don't feel connected to him in any way >~<


Shit shit shit shit!!!!! Somebody help me!!!
  • Mood: Regretful
  • Listening to: no ordinary love ~ Memphis may fire
Apparently there is this underclassman that wants to ask me to prom but he's too shy and that's adorable but he's apparently been flirting with me for months now and is in my physics class...

I just saw it as friendly conversations and he's younger than me and he's a bit shorter and well that's not entirely my type.

I like when a person is the same age or a bit older than me and if they're the same height or taller. Yes those are specific aesthetic features but that's the girl in me coming out.

I just see him as a friend and I'm not drawn to him I mean he has a great personality but I don't connect...

I've only connected strongly to three people but all three have became my best friends


Idk what to do >~<

Stay sweet y'all

Candi :heart:
  • Mood: Regretful
  • Listening to: no ordinary love ~ Memphis may fire
I think I found someone interested (the relationship way) in me which shocks me. He's really sweet and I have a class with him but idk I've no idea. >~<

I think I'm just going to stay unrequited with liking people it doesn't really work out with me. Don't get me wrong I've gotten great friends from it but yeah Id prefer having great friends over anything


Stay sweet y'all

Candi

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Candi-Rhodes's Profile Picture
Candi-Rhodes
Candi
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
My kohai and little sister :iconunease-el-zorro:
My other little sister is :iconlezahbite:
My twin is :iconkourage215:
My other twin sister/editor is :icontsubaki-rhodes:
My awesome senpai:iconkayaba-wolf:
My good friends :iconhuntersrose::iconsmokeydan13::iconrisejackfrost::iconderp81:
my Older sister and other awesome senpai is :iconyumiuzumaki28:
my quotev account: www.quotev.com/CandiRhodes
my fanfiction account name: Candi-Rhodes
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TheToxicDoctor FAN BUTTON! by TheToxicDoctor FuzzyFangirls! by TheToxicDoctor
Interests
  • Listening to: sexting ~ blood on the dance floor
I'm going to say it even tho the tears aren't flowing anymore I just can't stop sobbing and trying to cry, my eyes hurt. I can't wear my glasses because its no use if I can't really see out of them anyways. I'm exhausted my body is on the brink of just wanting to shut down and do nothing but sleep and be a very sad and mopey person and yet I still want to push forward. I just *sighs*

Nightmares are my enemy... There I said it. I have horribly painstakingly vivid nightmares.. They always make me fear going to sleep just like I'm afraid of the dark... These nightmares show me beside my loved friends (even if I don't know what you'd look like or what your real name would be I just have this image of you stuck in my head) and family dying and I can't do anything about it.. I've not been able to sleep properly since I was a child  and these sickeningly gruesome vivid things happen that I just get worried and stressed afraid of falling asleep because I would see someone else gruesomely die...

I mean I do have nights where I don't dream but I still wake up in a cold sweat on the edge of breaking down into tears and screaming hell I've left the security of my home because of sleeping walking to get away from what scared me in my nightmares....


I feel like everything is just haunting me letting me know that death is inevitable but I don't want that hell of nightmares.

I can handle gore when I know its fake like in a haunted house or in a horror film and I know nightmares aren't real but I was scared because I could feel all the small details hear the desperate whispers of them wanting help the feel of everything in the scenery just everything is too real I don't even want to know what a good dream would be like even tho it probably would be better than that of a nightmare

But I do know that at some point it needs to be stopped so I'm teaching my self lucid dreaming...

I need to control my dream and what happens in it. I need to have better sleep than what I am having..

But back to other news I'm happy its almost time for graduation less than two months now and I'll be in a chalk competition this coming April! I'll be drawing up a 8x8 foot piece by myself on a crossover of doctor who supernatural the librarians and five nights at Freddy's

I'm really excited to do that I've begun the process of redesigning my bedroom to be more of a studio for my art and jewelry making I'm even going to try making stain glass sun catchers! I've been working on a few needle point projects practicing singing a few songs cooking some new things that I've never tried before reading more books and designing game concept art

I've been in my art niche for awhile but I've finally realized the full life ahead of me that will have a big ball of wibbly wobbly things going on

I am trying to enjoy what little time left I have at home and my aunt found me a part time job at a screen print shop and also possibly at the public library.

Going to be going to church camp for three weeks at the beginning of summer hopefully and making YouTube videos also

So. Yeah my little slice of life at the moment

Stay sweet y'all

Candi :heart:

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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconpowerlinearcade:
PowerlineArcade Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New member Student General Artist
GAH I FELL ASLEEP LAST NIGHT AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE WATCH!!!!lonk 
Reply
:iconcandi-rhodes:
Candi-Rhodes Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
ERMERPERG ITS OK!!! YOU'RE WELCOME!!!! :iconyuihugplz:
Reply
:iconkaureshi:
Kaureshi Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2015  Hobbyist
ThAnKs FoR tHe WaTcH! ;p
*huggles*
Reply
:iconcandi-rhodes:
Candi-Rhodes Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem friend :iconsupguyplz:
Reply
:iconkibumjonghyun:
KibumJonghyun Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2015
Thanks for fav! Love +fav Hug 
Reply
:iconcandi-rhodes:
Candi-Rhodes Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem!
Reply
:iconalexix3:
Alexix3 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for faving! <3
Reply
:iconcandi-rhodes:
Candi-Rhodes Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem friend :iconsupguyplz:
Reply
:icongarden-fairy:
garden-fairy Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the watch! I really appreciate it!! :iconpinkballoonplz:
Reply
:iconcandi-rhodes:
Candi-Rhodes Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem friend! :iconsupguyplz:
Reply
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